I'm thankfull for all the people who have been there for me when I'm having a hard time! I was thinking, what would I do without them? When you're having a hard time you realize ( or afterwards ), how important friends are. Humans are not ment to be alone!
I've sat at home for more than six months, alone and it was driving me crazy! I needed social contact, conversations with other people than my ( lovely ) mother! So, this is just a quick post to thank all of the people who have always been there for me. Even at the time I've just met them, they didn't knew me very wel, but they were there for me. I didn't scare them away with all my crazytalk :)
The last two years I've become closer to certain people, and these people, I want to keep in my life. I've been through alot, "friends" left me, people who I thought were friends actually were talking behind my back, people I was kind to, just needed me for certain things they needed. Well, I'm glad I'm over that!
I've started over with new people, new friends!
So, now I have these important people, I'd like to hang on to them! It's hard sometimes, busy with school, having a boyfriend, not much time. I hope they understand, but realize, when they need me, I will always be there like they been there for me.
" But, I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.
I'll be there for you, like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too"
I've also noticed, people have some kind of meaning in your life,.. Every single person that's been in your life has a reason they have been there. Some are a lesson and others are a blessing! I have a friend, and I did not know what to do about him. I've tried to kick him out of my life, but for some reason, he keeps crawling back in! Aha, that picture above reminds me of that person. Even if you shut the door, real friends will find a way to get back in. So I did, I let him back in and I'm glad. He's like some kind of special person in my life. Don't ask me why, it's just like that. Anyhow, glad I have him as a friend. He knows me very well, he's always busy but when I really need him, he's there for me. And a long time ago, I thought I lost that special person.
We lived like a street away from each other, and almost every night, we went outside to the park, smoke some sigarets and have a great chat. When I had to move, to the city, that all just fade away. I tried to keep in touch with him, but for a reason ( I then did not know ) it didn't work out. I thought I lost him and I was so angry about that. And so I wanted to remove him out of my life, I thought, well, if I am that special to you, such a good friend to you, why the hell don't you speak to me anymore?
In a very hard way, I removed him out of my life with an angry letter. I cried and cried about it, but nothing happend. But the first time after months not talking to him, I started to realize I was wrong. I was only seeing one side of the story, mine. So I apologised to him and asked him what exactly happend. Because I was confused. And then, he told me why he didn't answered my text, or didn't had the time to meet me. The boy was in a damn depression! And I was to fucking blind to see that! And again, I cried and cried about that. Feeling so guilty of what I had done to him. He tried to build a wall between us, and not bother me, or anyone with his 'problems', but he didn't talked to me at all. Why did I not see that coming? But, things went positive. We had a great talk, and now, he's still busy with school, but I talk to him more often, just making small talk, but when I meet him, serious talks happen hha. I'm glad he crawled back into my life, without even knowing it haha. Faith?
So, friends are very important to me. They mean the world to me. I've learned from my mistakes and hopefully, I will never make them again!
This short and quick note has become a bit more than short I see haha. Now, bedtime!
Seeya
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