The girl who lived...

The girl who lived.

That is kinda who I want to be remembered as. Someone who really lived her life.

Somebody who really lives, how do you define 'living'? Well, my opinion of 'living' your life is this;

• Be who you are, don't mind what others think about you.
• Have fun when you want to
• Like yourself, love yourself, be happy with who you are
• Dare to be ugly once in a while 
• Dare to take some risks
• Love other people, help others
• Dream
• Chase your dreams
• Be optimistic
• Don't be afraid to make mistakes
• Don't overthink everything 
• Step away from 'what if...'
• Do what you love and love what you do
• Travel 
• Get to know a lot of people, but only have a few close friends
• Live now, not in the past
• Be confident
• Rather regret of what you did than what you didn't do
• Laugh a lot
• Learn to forgive people, after all, we are all the same, nobody's flawless
• Make a bucket list
• Compliment others when you mean it
• Dare to think out of the box, or.. well get rid of the box :)

I am not a fan of the word 'YOLO' but in the end, it does makes sence. But I rather spell the whole sentence! You only live once :)

I kinda really do.. It can be soooo much fun :) Just let it all go, empty your mind and be a motherfucking fool once in a while :D

PS: I really want to be a girl who lived her life to the fullest. But I have to admit, I am still learning and chasing that goal in my life :)

Social Media

Hi there!


So, straight to the point: I'm a faker! Haha. oh yes I am.

So now I have the attention of the ladies haha, I can tell you the story :) A friend of mine has deleted her facebook account and created a new one. This instead of deleting a lot of people manually, because that takes a lot of time!!

She told me how good it felt to 'start over '. How stupid it may sound to some, but deleting a facebook account can be hard. It's like an addiction and sort of safety that you know you are never alone because there is always someone online, someone to talk to. But it you think it trough, how many of all those people are really your friends?

Her act made me think about it. I began to find it creepy how many people can actually look into my life and how many they know of me. All those people and only a few really matter to me. They don't need to know all sorts of stuff about me. I never see most of them, don't talk to them anymore..




So, I did the same thing my friend did. I deleted my facebook. Created a new one and added the people who really matter to me. So now I have like 34 friends, and ok, not all of them are my best friends haha, but there's family and family of my boyfriend :)



A day after I've got 10 friend requests, and half of them don't matter to me. Now you see, how many curious people there are on the planet haha :p just to see what you do in life, to see pictures of you etc. But ooooh nooo, they are not entering my 'life' again. Facebook = part of life. Social media is just crazy!!


Nowadays you know everything about anyone! Just by social media. That's one of the reasons I blog
anonymous :) haha.

Shocked? Well I'm not!





















Talking about social media and internet. Kids these days, If I walk down the street, I sometimes see children playing in the street, but when I was younger ( I'm 20 haha ) I was outside every fucking day! Summer and winter. I had a computer but I didn't know how to use that, because I played outside with my friends!! Now they need computer, telephone ( and not a cheap one! ), playstation, Xbox, Ipad, gameboy nintendo shit :p I had a skipping -rope, marbles, a ball, and actually not so much more. We were creative and played hide and seek and these kinda things. At 7 AM my neighbours (two girls) were ringing at the door if I was ready to play :) gooooood memories ♥

The picture above, I see that a lot, pity.



IMAGINE THAT:

♥ lots of love 

Turn back time

What would you do if you could turn back time?

It's not the first time that thought popped into my mind. But I never really thought it through. What if I had a time machine and I could go back just 5 times. Would I change anything? What would you do?

The first thing I think of is that I won't really would change anything, just relive some special moments. Just watch the moment again. Because every little decision can have a huge impact on your life. If I would change one thing, what effect will it have on the future?

And then this pops into my mind:

'Back to the future'. This movie is kinda funny, but if you think about it... so many things can go wrong by just changing one thing.

Therefor, I would not change things. I would relive special moments.

One of the moments I really want to 'see' again, if I had the possibility, would be a moment with my dad. He passed away in 2002. I was only 8 years old and don't really have much memories about him. That's the first thing I would do.

So, I used one of my five 'go-back' moments haha. And I have no idea for what  I would use the other 4.

Maybe it would be smart to spare them. You never know it could be really usefull.  Owww, now I think of it. If we, 'humans' really have more then one life, I would go back to one of my previous lives. Haha, sounds kinda stupid.

And this my dear friends, I find stupid. If we know everything already, how the hell can we learn things?

We learn out of our mistakes. That's how we go forward in life. By making mistakes and later realize that was a stupid thing to do. And hopefully, we won't do it again.

That is one of the most interesting things in life. Progressing, growing up, learning new things,...

That's another important thing to think of. We, indeed, move on if we know there is nothing to do about it. If people had the possibilty to go back in time and try to do thing differently, we could never ever move on, and keep on trying to fix things. Some things are just not fixable. Somethings you just have to let go and go on with life.










We need to know, we create our future! So why go back in time and try to make it all better? We have the power to create our life, to create our happiness and make ourselves happy! That is one hell of a power we have. Unfortunately, not many people realize this. It's time they do! Stop worrying about the past, there is nothing you can do. :)

Who am I?

I told you in an earlier post that i'm studying for being a teacher, well, one off the things we need to know is the adolescence fase in life. Children can come in a fase were they wonder 'who am I?'

Well, I think I'm kinda stuck in that fase haha :p although i'm not 14 anymore :p

Can anybody exactly discribe who he/she is and what they really want in life? Because I can't.

What defines me? If people ask me who I am, I say oh well I'm a friendly person... Well yea and eugh that's it. I guess I am more than that friendly girl. But what? If I could ask my friends 'define who I am' , that would be nice :) But I think that's a little weird, they are probably only gonna say the positive things about me, like well yea you are a friendly person -_-'

And even if I would do that, that's not all of me. I am more then what people see in me, that's the opinion of others. I have to have my own opinion about myself. I want to know who I really am and what I want in my life.

That is exactly how I feel sometimes. Who the hell is leading my life and why do I make the choices I make...

Am I really doing what I want to do? I don't think so, there is something holding me back from being who I really am but I don't know what or who and don't know what to do about it.

Kinda shitty don't you think :p












Like I told you in an earlier post, I'm kinda skeptic about paranormal activities and stuff like that. But anyway, doesn't matter what I do, it seems I have an 'old soul' haha :p At first I laughed with it. My mom is kinda busy with spiritual things and she told me that. I took a few (non realistic) tests online, talked to one another, and they all say the same ! I have an old soul. Ow hooray!

It seems I have seen it all before because I had a lot of lives. Things do not impress or scare me a lot they say, and that is right. I'm not shocked quick. Most of the time my reaction is:' ooh, that's sad' and then I go on with what I was doing. :p haha strange right? I don't really believe in that kinda stuff, but it's just strange that it keeps coming back at me. At different times and when I had a different (younger) age.

And that my friends, is also something strange. Even in clothing style I don't know who I really am or who I want to be/seem. When I was little, it didn't matter what I wore, because mommy bought my clothes haha :p

Until I was bullied, then I started to think of who I want to be and how I wanted to show that. So I went shopping and really thought what would actually look good on me.

So, I bought kinda neutral clothes nothing really notable.

Later I wanted to look like the pretty girls in school. Skinny jeans, just casual fashionable clothing.

And now, I think I want to be kinda hippie style :p but also rockabilly but on the other side also classy -_-

And I am non of the above styles :p In any kinda way :p haha

Man, oh you holy man, if you really exist... will you stop laughing with me!

haha, I don't believe in God. Especially not if he doesn't want us to find ourself. How stupid is that :p

'Hey Jesus, look at that stupid girl! She is figuring out who she is hahaha, poor girl!! That is my dirty little secret, muahahaha'

Haha imagine that :p

That is true don't you think? We can not keep standing still in life. We have to keep moving forward to keep getting smarter. Learning of your mistakes.

But oke, I do that (kinda). I learn from my mistakes but still I have the feeling I'm not moving forward. I don't really have exciting things to do, I'm studying but not learning anything I can use in my personal life. Yea, I learn how to cope a class full of teenagers but I don't know what to do with my own life. Don't know what to do with my head, I have to keep it exiting but nothing happens.

I have to stimulate myself, having adventures, things to look forward at .. Everything stays the same. There is like a sort of routine that i'm starting to hate.

So, I try to go to readings (when I have the time).. That I like to do! New things, interesting things to learn. But not really exiting things :p sitting there and listening to what the speaker has to say is not my kinda adventure.

I should make a journey or something.. get to know new or old cultures, use my brain for once in a while :p really think. Or go to filosophy readings, and set my mind open for new things. But oh well, for a lot of things you need money. That I don't have :p so bye bye adventurous things.







Well, If you may think you know me, and see this picture. Don't worry, I have no idea who I am either :p

Giving chances

Hi there!

Long time no blog! Well, not a decent blog with much words in it :p

I want to 'let go' my anger right now. I hope it helps!

As I said, I'm studying for a teacher. It is a one-year training. I have a diploma of secondary education, namely, as educator.

This week I had to go to my internship place to settle. All administrative matters (Hours, contracts, ...) When I got there they asked me what my previous training was. Youth and disabled care in secundary school. On their faces I could already see that this was not good enough for them, they had a bachelor's or master's degree in mind I guess. Then I  heard lots of nasty things The two mentors were talking to each other, about how stupid it is to have someone like me to do this training. I did not even prove myself as a teacher yet.
They have not seen me teach, they just went off on my previous training and diploma!

They asked questions like: "Can you actually teach? Can you make a lesson? "Then that one mentor said, "If you fail then I will take action, and you can sit back in your place."

Right? I was really pissed off for all the things they said. Thanks y'all! For giving me no fucking chance at all.

But I'm gonna prove them wrong. I'm gonna show them that I can teach!

Yeah, maybe they will change their minds and think, waaw, that kid with 'just' her diploma from secundary school, she's gonna be a good teacher!

Or maybe they don't change their minds, maybe I'm not a good teacher... But nobody know's untill they give me a chance.

But to be honest, I think I can! Everybody in my class has certain qualities, things only they are good in. Something of their own. Something that makes their lessons good and fun.

I have that 'something' too! I'm very enthousiast and 'alive' when I teach. Always with a smile.





And another thing they said was that I haven't got the know-how of everyhing, the know-how of the theory I'm teaching.

Ok, I'm young, thats true. But that doesn't mean I'm stupid! I love teaching, I love explaining things and helping children to learn something new. I'm used to work with children, in other conditions, but children are children and I know how to bring fun and joy in my lessons. Or, thats what I think I do haha. 

And so, on my way back home, I complained to the busdriver haha. He was very friendly and listend to all my complaining haha. It was a 40 minute drive to the station so, I really could not sit there quitly on the bus thinking of what those people said. Luckely, the busdriver on the way home, was the same guy of the way to my internship! 

So, thank you busdriver! 

Paranormal coincidence

Ghosts, aliens, mermaids, angels, devils, chakra, energy, another world than ours right in front of us... what's true en what's crap?

I was once a spiritually minded person... until I met my (ex-)ethics teacher.  He wanted us to be critical about the things in life, not just absorb information but really think about things. Well, I have a few creepy experiences with, euh.. 'ghosts'? Haha, but then we learned to think critical about the theme ghosts, mind-readers, fortune-tellers,... He showed us a few video's of James Randi, who had unmasked a lot of such sort of people.


James Randi, also known as The Amazing Randi is an American magician, skeptic and opponent of pseudo-sciences, such as homeopathy and other alternative therapies.

He is probably the best known of the One Million Dollar Paranormal Challenge where the James Randi Educational Foundation, promise a prize of one million dollars to the person who can give evidence of any paranormal or supernatural phenomenon under test conditions where both parties agree to it.

That changed my way of thinking about all the spiritual minded people who claim to do really amazing stuff. Lots of thing can be simply explained by logic. There was a man that Randi exposed, the man claimed that he could move a pencil just with his mind. 

Look, the black rectangle is a table and the red line is a pencil. If the pencil is at the edge of the table, you just have to swing with your hands a little bit and the pencil will move! Logic right? 

Well, that's a whole other story than what I experienced years ago. 

So, I was with a friend of mine and we were taking selfies haha. To make it clear to you all, I will use my über cool program : PAINT! 

So, here's what happend! :

DRAWING 1: My friend and I were taking selfies. That is the position, we were laying on the ground and taking pictures of ourselves. At that time, we didn't had an Iphone, it was just an ordinary camera, something like this: 

It was a pretty cool one, with new gadgets. We could take 4 pictures at once! So, my friend clicked on the button just one time and we had 4 pictures! The first photo is just like the one I drawed in paint, nothing special going on. So then we took a look at the second picture, an that looked like this:

So let me explain what we saw. The face with the purple haze, is my face. Well, that was supposed to me my face. It was like there was someone else on the picture, with the characterize of a person with down syndrome. It looked like a little girl with down syndrome. That was really
weird!! I immediately saw that something was wrong with my face, and so we went on to the third picture:

That one , the third picture was the most creepy picture I ever saw ! The blue circle was the most obvious ! That
was like the face of a very creepy man . At that time, we both were scared as hell ! If I remember well , we just
yelled ! The orange circle was less clear but we saw the contours of a face . But the blue one was damn clear ! with
eyes and all! And the best off all , we watched the pictures on the camera , not on the computer . We were so scared ,
We Showed the pictures to her mother , and she saw it too . My friends mother knew someone that ' is ' a medium .

So , we drove directly to That Woman 's house with the pictures ( oh yea , we printed the pictures and Showed them
that way ) . So , we arrived and when she saw this picture she said , " the man on the picture is in our presence ."
That sentence scared the crap out of me at that moment!

To make a long story short , the man in the picture committed suicide in Their house ( my friends house ) and
wanted to make himself visible. He did that by taking energy out of my friends mother . And then , it just went
crazier ! That woman asked a bunch of questions about Their way of living , that changed things or things they
saw ... And my friend toldthat woman that , when she was in the bathroom , she saw a shadow passing by Often
the door , her mother was tired all the time and their cat started staring at .. well stared at things that were not
there and when she vacuumed and tried to move the chairs , it took a lot of effort , the chairs weighed a lot,
but the cat was not on That chair ...

Oh , and about that girl with Down syndrome , or uh , the face That looked that way , .. she would be repaid
between two worlds (ours and .. well the ghost world ? ) ... She would not harm anyone .

As we left That Woman 's house and her crazy stories, she told us she would That Keep That angry man with her .
Because , hey could harm them ... Also , she said we had to burn the pictures . And damn I regret I did that Because
now I can only tell you this without any evidence . You just have to believe it or not haha .

I do not know what it was , but it was really, really scary! On the other hand , I can not explain this , neither can
anybody else explain or prove all this paranormal things . That's why I'm a bit skeptic about it , eventhough
That I've experienced weird coincidence .

Well , I would like to show you some pictures similar to but I'm scared to look Those kinda things up haha . I
always make myself scared . I once watched a short video about two policemen I think , going into an elevator
and when the came out , you saw an old woman standing in the elevator who was not there in the first
place . The paranormal activity movies , paranormal entity damn , Those movies scare the crap out of me
and I do not know why because I do not really believe in it, but it scares me at the same time . Weird do not you think .

I know it 's kinda boring , a post without images to scare you all off haha .

But sometimes I wonder , would there really be another world than ours ? A World That we can not see or hear .
A world with people who died and still roam around ? I mean , not like in actual people like we see ourselves
but more like energy things ? I mean , everything in there is some kind of truth . There must be something " there"
, I just do not know what it is.


Talking about 'not knowing what it is . " A long time ago I lived in an apartment , and after a year or so , the lock
was not working so well anymore . I had to try so many times to open the door and get into . And , one time
I came home and said out loud " Dad , please open the door for me ' ( my dad died in 2002 ) . and BAM
the door opened at once ! Haha , that is ofcourse a coincidence ! But it was so funny and weird at the same time ,
' wishing ' something , praying ( not to God , because I do not believe in God ) and it happend !

Talking about coincidence ! That's another thing that can not be explained . Ok , I've learned about probability theory
but I mean , like People that you meet in your life , All things that happen , things like emotions , meeting people ,
feelings , All The Things That can not be Calculated with numbers . Are these things coincidence or do they
happen for a reason ?

And .. If the bite for a reason , Their must be something more than just our world (even though I do not
believe in God ) . You see ? Everything is connected with eachother . The hardest thing is , you can break
your head on it , but do not find an explanation . Also , I think society is keeping us dumb .

Society is keeping us dumb , by referring to that I. Those movies where unexplained things happen to the world
and suddenly we discover That scientists already knew it , but they had to keep it still for us by the
government. Haha , Ok , I know this May seem a bit unrealistic and science fiction - ish but you never know right !
How do we know for sure if they do experiments , we do not know about ? But I guess I'm gonna keep
that subject for another time haha!

SO mucht to think about!! So, to end what I started:

Ghosts

Still don't dare too look up "real"( ahum ) pictures haha. 









Aliens

Mermaids

" Angels, devils, chakra, energy, another world than ours right in front of us... what's true en what's crap? "

Everything has it origin, it source...

Everything has its origins in existence. Everything comes from something, anything from truth. 
The extent to which truth is really to take for true, that, you have to decide for yourself.

Nostalgia :D

Yesterday, my mom was cleaning out our 'art-closet' haha :p A closet with all our paint brushes, paper, paint, ... and lots more of that! She found my drawings and painting from secondary school ! These are the drawings and paintings from when I was like 13 - 14 years old. 

I took a picture from a few works haha, I will share them with you because it's like nostalgia for me ! :D

 The arrow shows something I like about that painting. Even if it's my own painting, I still think, the motion that 'man' is making hilarious! We had to re-make a real painting. I remeber I spend a lot of time cursing about that painting haha. We had to work with sections, and everything had to be in the right section! Damn, like I already said, I cursed a lot! haha

THAT CHIN! hahahahahaha. We had to make a drawing for a campaign against smoking ! But as far as I can remeber,... I was smoking and that time haah, but don't you think it's a pretty scary drawing. They must put that picture on sigaret pack! Especially for the HUGE chin! haha

 

 I don't know what the instructions were with that drawing :p But I kinda still like this one :) In stead of being scary, like a scarecrow should be, I think it's rather sweet and peacefull.

Draw a castle in pencil and paint a background, then put them together.. I guess that was the mission of our teacher at the time. I guess I made a mistake with my paint but was to lazy to make it right, or to start over haha. The castle is 'kinda' ok for a 14 year old? No? Or am I to optimistic?

 <--  another one, another castle (ugly one!! ) but a much better background :D

THAT is what I call a cute dragon :D But then look at that "flower" in the corner? That doesn't even make sense haha.

Again, another campaign against smoking. Kinda funny haha.  

To lazy to finish the other half? Haha, if I cannot make two parts of the face the same, I just draw one side?

That was in my "manga" period. I have hundreds simular drawings!




















 

That one is kinda ok?



























Just a sketch... of a powerfull woman :D

That's a painting from,.. I guess 2 years ago? But I don't know how to finish it so, I'm not touching it anymore :p

One or two year ago I guess. 

 Hands, that was not so easy for me, because I'm not an artist or something. Just when I'm bored :)

    

Haha, Alien eyes? Barbie-doll mouth and haha, beneath my drawing lays my scratch paper and there, if you look closely, you can see 'made in Belgium' haha :D lol

I always draw on scratch paper, because I draw out of boredom haha :p

I made the drawing above again.. I think it's a bit better now :)