Who am I?

I told you in an earlier post that i'm studying for being a teacher, well, one off the things we need to know is the adolescence fase in life. Children can come in a fase were they wonder 'who am I?'

Well, I think I'm kinda stuck in that fase haha :p although i'm not 14 anymore :p

Can anybody exactly discribe who he/she is and what they really want in life? Because I can't.

What defines me? If people ask me who I am, I say oh well I'm a friendly person... Well yea and eugh that's it. I guess I am more than that friendly girl. But what? If I could ask my friends 'define who I am' , that would be nice :) But I think that's a little weird, they are probably only gonna say the positive things about me, like well yea you are a friendly person -_-'

And even if I would do that, that's not all of me. I am more then what people see in me, that's the opinion of others. I have to have my own opinion about myself. I want to know who I really am and what I want in my life.

That is exactly how I feel sometimes. Who the hell is leading my life and why do I make the choices I make...

Am I really doing what I want to do? I don't think so, there is something holding me back from being who I really am but I don't know what or who and don't know what to do about it.

Kinda shitty don't you think :p












Like I told you in an earlier post, I'm kinda skeptic about paranormal activities and stuff like that. But anyway, doesn't matter what I do, it seems I have an 'old soul' haha :p At first I laughed with it. My mom is kinda busy with spiritual things and she told me that. I took a few (non realistic) tests online, talked to one another, and they all say the same ! I have an old soul. Ow hooray!

It seems I have seen it all before because I had a lot of lives. Things do not impress or scare me a lot they say, and that is right. I'm not shocked quick. Most of the time my reaction is:' ooh, that's sad' and then I go on with what I was doing. :p haha strange right? I don't really believe in that kinda stuff, but it's just strange that it keeps coming back at me. At different times and when I had a different (younger) age.

And that my friends, is also something strange. Even in clothing style I don't know who I really am or who I want to be/seem. When I was little, it didn't matter what I wore, because mommy bought my clothes haha :p

Until I was bullied, then I started to think of who I want to be and how I wanted to show that. So I went shopping and really thought what would actually look good on me.

So, I bought kinda neutral clothes nothing really notable.

Later I wanted to look like the pretty girls in school. Skinny jeans, just casual fashionable clothing.

And now, I think I want to be kinda hippie style :p but also rockabilly but on the other side also classy -_-

And I am non of the above styles :p In any kinda way :p haha

Man, oh you holy man, if you really exist... will you stop laughing with me!

haha, I don't believe in God. Especially not if he doesn't want us to find ourself. How stupid is that :p

'Hey Jesus, look at that stupid girl! She is figuring out who she is hahaha, poor girl!! That is my dirty little secret, muahahaha'

Haha imagine that :p

That is true don't you think? We can not keep standing still in life. We have to keep moving forward to keep getting smarter. Learning of your mistakes.

But oke, I do that (kinda). I learn from my mistakes but still I have the feeling I'm not moving forward. I don't really have exciting things to do, I'm studying but not learning anything I can use in my personal life. Yea, I learn how to cope a class full of teenagers but I don't know what to do with my own life. Don't know what to do with my head, I have to keep it exiting but nothing happens.

I have to stimulate myself, having adventures, things to look forward at .. Everything stays the same. There is like a sort of routine that i'm starting to hate.

So, I try to go to readings (when I have the time).. That I like to do! New things, interesting things to learn. But not really exiting things :p sitting there and listening to what the speaker has to say is not my kinda adventure.

I should make a journey or something.. get to know new or old cultures, use my brain for once in a while :p really think. Or go to filosophy readings, and set my mind open for new things. But oh well, for a lot of things you need money. That I don't have :p so bye bye adventurous things.







Well, If you may think you know me, and see this picture. Don't worry, I have no idea who I am either :p